Complete Randomness: Avengers Edition
by Starcat49
Summary: A short story about Stark's incredible evenings. Leave a comment on what I should do next for 'Complete Randomness' and don't forget, Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so after you read this, you'll probably think "What the heck did I just read?". Well, you have read what is the mixture of pure exaustation and randomness combined into the perfect description of crazy. So yeah, when I wrote this, I thought: "What the heck did I just write?" so it's all okay. Most of this was suggested by my friend, Octavia. So, enjoy!**

Tony Stark sat down after a long day of hard work. Being Iron Man wasn't easy. He sat back and watched the television in front of him until he heard a rustling coming from the closet. Cautiously, he got up and stalked his way towards the door and gently pulled it open. A soon as it was open an inch wide, numerous giant spoons poured out of the closet. "What the heck?" Tony screeched as he looked around at his flooded living room, almost filled completely with the spoons.

Two golden horns appeared from the pile of spoons and Tony watched as Loki pulled himself from the pile and stood on top of it. He turned his attention to Stark. "I'm terribly sorry, but I had to find somewhere to hide my spoons and this was the ideal place." he said with sympathy in his eyes. Loki walked across the spoons to one of the windows. After breaking it, he turned around and walked into the elevator. The elevator doors slid shut and Loki was gone.

Tony, still trapped beneath the spoons, looked around the room, wondering where he would put the spoons, when all of a sudden he heard a loud crack of thunder. "Great." he groaned. All of the windows in the apartment shattered as a figure draped in a red cape crashed into the room. Thor lifted his head up to look at Stark. "Man of Iron, I need your help! Loki has stolen all of Asgard's spoons and won't return them. I need you to find them. I'll go find Loki." Thor boomed. In Thor's rush, he didn't notice the apartment being flooded by the giant spoons he was looking for.

Thor looked at the spoons. "Good Stark, you have found Asgard's spoons. We are eternally in your favor." Thor shouted with a grin. He gathered up all of the spoons into one pile and they all disappeared at once. Thor twirled his hammer and flew off into the night sky. Tony groaned again. "What next?" he asked himself. At that moment, Bruce Banner burst into the apartment and looked around wildly. "Thor told me to run as quick as I can over here to give you something!" Banner panted. He held up one of the giant spoons, this one made entirely out of gold. Tony justed groaned and walked to his bedroom. "I give up!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Summertime boredom and a computer add up to another chapter of complete randomness. These ideas were suggested by ****_Sagitarizzie._**** I hope you enjoy the craziness of this story and make sure to leave a suggestion for the next chapter!**

Stark walked over to his chair and sat down, exhausted once again from stopping crime all day. He hoped that nothing too random would happen, like yesterday's Asgardian spoon theft. "Jarvis, could you start my laundry?" Tony asked turning on the television. "I don't want to though." Jarvis's British accent sounded through the room, slurring his words. "Jarvis?" Tony got up out of his chair, "What's the matter with you?"

"I decided to try some of the drink in your kitchen." Jarvis answered, the elevator starting making weird noises. "How is that even possible? How much did you drink?" Tony screeched, trying to figure out how to turn Jarvis off. "The whole bottle." Jarvis murmured, the lights flickered on and off. "Stop that!" Tony commanded, running to go put his suit on.

He stopped in his tracks, looking at the scene in front of him. Loud music started blasting as his suit of iron danced to Gangnam Style. "What the heck is going on!?" Stark yelled over the music. "Dance!" Jarvis said in a sing-song voice. A disco ball lowered into the room and shone, the rest of the lights turned off. "When did you get a disco ball?" Stark asked, running to the window to see if any of the Avengers were near the Stark tower.

He took his phone out and texted the first Avenger contact on there. Bruce received a text message from Tony, saying that something was wrong with Jarvis. He sighed and started towards Stark tower. Upon arrival, he saw that the tower was lit up with multicolored lights. He went up the tower to the room blasting loud music, finding Tony dodging glass bottles flying towards him. It missed him and completely shattered the window behind him. "Great" Tony growled, running over to Banner. "And what exactly is going on?" Bruce mumbled. "Jarvis is drunk and I don't know how to turn him off!" Stark explained quickly, dodging another bottle.

Bruce looked around at the disco ball and Tony's dancing suit, shattered glass covered the floor. He walked over to a switch on the wall and flipped it. The lights turned back on and the disco ball went away. Tony's suit stopped dancing and the music stopped playing. "That's all I had to do?" Stark complained, walking over to the switch to examine it. "How could you miss it? It's labeled 'Jarvis Off Switch' in bold letters!" Bruce said, pointing to the label. "Oh." Stark muttered. "When can I turn him back on?" He asked, looking around at the broken room.

"Probably a couple of hours." Bruce explained, walking over to the elevator. He got in and walked out of the tower. Tony looked around the room and decided he would wait for Jarvis to clean it up, and decided to get rid of most of the liquor in the cabinets. He sighed as he looked at the broken window, "What next?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wooooow I've been away for so long, so I decided to end the hiatus and write a new chapter for Complete Randomness. Leave a comment on what I should do next and Enjoy!**

Tony flew around Manhattan after a long day of stopping crime. He was on patrol for a few more minutes, but he decided he would head home early. "Jarvis, set coordinates for Stark tower." Tony ordered. "Sir, I'm afraid the suit is malfunctioning, and I can't fix it." Jarvis responded.

The suit jerked to the right and Stark held out his hands for balance. "Well, get me back to the tower quickly!" Tony commanded, trying to keep the metal suit still. "Sir, my firewall is being overridden. I've lost control of the suit."

The suit slowly started spinning around and picked up speed. Manhattan swirled around Stark and he slowly lost conciousness. Everything went black. A few hours later Stark woke up to sun shining in his eyes. He opened them and looked around from where he was laying. "Am I dead?" he muttered as he stood up, standing still until the world stopped spinning.

He examined his surroundings and looked down at the red and gold brick road. There seemed to be no houses or anything nearby, only an old scarecrow on a stick in the field by the road.

_This must be Oz or something with this brick road and scarecrow and all_ Stark thought to himself. He walked dizzily towards the scarecrow and looked at his face, which looked incredibly similar to Thor's. The scarecrow even had Thor's helmet. "Thor?" Tony whispered, poking him. "Hmm?" Thorcrow said, lifting his head and yawning.

"What are you doing Thor?" Tony asked. "Oh you know, hanging around." Thorcrow said, lifting himself off the stick supporting his straw body. "Now come on friend Stark, we have to go to Emerald city, I forgot Mjolnir there!" Thorcrow boomed, heading off down the red and gold brick road. "Wait can't you just-"

Tony was cut off by Jarvis's voice. "Sir, I'm afraid you have landed in Oz." Jarvis informed. "No kidding." Stark replied, looking around trying to find the source of Jarvis's voice. "Just try to play out your role of Dorthy, sir."

"Why do I have to be Dorthy?" Stark complained. "Don't ask me sir, it's your dream." Jarvis retorted. Tony started off down the road to Thorcrow. After a while, they found an apple orchard with a tin man standing in the middle.

"I know this part, that's the tin man!" Stark exclaimed, picking up the oil can by the man and oiling the tin man's joints until they could move again. Stark noticed that the metal face clearly looked like Clint's, there was even a bow in his hands.

Clint opened his metal jaw and spoke. "Hey, Stark. Couldn't imagine me as something more movable, couldn't you?" Clint complained, walking towards the red and gold road. "You're welcome, Legolas." Tony muttered, following Clint, Thorcrow following him.

And as planned, The group of three reached a dark and brooding forest. "I wonder who's going to be the cowardly lion?" Tony mumbled, looking around. "I understood that reference." Said what looked to be Steve in a lion costume. After a solid minute of Clint and Tony laughing, and Thorcrow looking confused, they made their way back to the red and brick road.

Steve mentioned wanting to get his shield back. The Emerald City loomed about a mile in front of them, and they continued walking until they reached the green jeweled doors the palace, which agents Coulson and Hill were guarding. Coulson gladly opened the door for them.

They walked up to what seemed to be the giant floating head of Thor's father, Odin. "What do you want?" Odin said grumpily. "Well, I want to go home, Thor wants Mjolnir, Furbie over here wants his shield, and I don't know what Legolas wants." Tony explained.

"No." Odin answered simply. "But father." Thorcrow began, but was cut off by Odin's loud HWARFGHAR. The group of four sat in stunned silence. "Wait does that mean we came all this way for nothing?" Steve questioned. "Yes." Odin replied.

"Well that's just great." Tony muttered, but his surroundings went black, then changed into his bedroom, where he was on his bed. His suit laid in pieces on the ground. "I don't even want to know what just happened." Tony groaned, rolling back over and falling asleep again.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony slowly stepped into his room and made as little noise as humanly possible as he stalked across the floor to his bed. He was determined to have a normal evening, but didn't want to risk anything, so he went to bed early. After shaking some spoons out of his pillowcase from a few night before, he crawled into bed and layed there. Sleep would be hard to come by, since his brain couldn't relax, stuck waiting for the inevitable weirdness to come.

A crash came from the living room and Tony sighed as he got up to see what it was. Alpacas. Hundreds and hundreds of alpacas flooded everywhere, even one on top of the fridge. They were coming from somewhere, but Stark didn't know where, and alpacas kept pouring in. It got to the point where the windows broke from the alpacas pushing up against them. A few were shoved out and Tony let out an anguished wail of despair as they fell. He stopped when he saw that they did not fall the distance from the tower to the ground, but more like three feet onto an invisible platform.

"Jarvis, what is going on!?" Tony shouted above the bleating of the alpacas. "It seems you have an infestation" Jarvis replied. Stark noticed a singular goat wandering through the alpacas and decided to follow it. It was difficult keeping up with the goat, there were eighty alpacas at least, but he followed the goat until it got to the elevator. The elevator slid open and Stark quickly shoved the goat and himself inside. No alpacas were in the elevator. Tony was thankful for a little peace and quiet.

He abruptly remembered the goat and turned to it. The goat stood there with a blank expression, staring at the elevator doors. "Evening, Stark" he said in a silky, familiar voice. "Loki, what on earth are you doing here?" Tony groaned, leaning his head against the elevator wall. "I came here to discuss with my brother the reverse spell for something that I've been learning, transforming into animals. As you can see, not all went smoothly as planned."

"What about the alpacas?" muttered Tony. "I overheard Barton talking to Rhode to tell you he was leaving them at your place while he renovated his farm. Which Rhode promptly rolled his eyes and walked away." Loki answered while examining his hooves. After ten minutes of uncomfortable silence, Loki sighed and said, "Are you really this idiotic?"

Tony looked to him, obviously confused. Loki sighed again. "We've literally been standing here for fifteen minutes, the elevator is stalled." Loki said, pointing his hoof to the elevator doors. He muttered something and the elevator dropped the other five floors to the base of the tower, while Tony screamed the whole way down.

The crashing impact Tony expected didn't come, and the elevator doors slid open, Loki walking away. Natasha walked up to Tony and handed him a slip of paper. "Clint told me to give this to you. He said that the alpacas were returned to their home." she said smoothly, turning and walking away out the Stark Tower doors.

Tony looked at the note, which only said: "Thank -Clint", sighed, walked back into the elevator, and pushed the button to return him to his room. He arrived and went back to bed, hoping this wouldn't happen again tomorrow.


End file.
